I cannot begin to describe the sense of loss, despair and complete hole in my heart that has been left behind. For anyone that is reading this that has lost a pet that they loved and cherished, you know exactly how I feel. My dog Woody found me 16 years ago when I was not even thinking about having a completely unconditionally loving, caring, loyal and full of life little canine in my care.
16 years ago I went out for hair products, minding my own business I stumbled across this adorable, furry friend that wanted nothing to do with me - that's right, nothing to do with me. Well, me of course being a glutton for punishment thought " I will show you" ignore me, no way -- you will come home with me and I will take care of you:) It was love at first sight for me. I bailed on the hair product and found myself signing some adoption papers and 30 minutes later carrying this adorable little pup and placing him in the front seat of my red convertible Driving home with the wind blowing through our hair, he still wanted nothing to do with me - turns out, he was not well and had a gimpy stomach to say the least.
He was clearly uncomfortable wimping and wining so I put him down on the living room floor with a little blanket and I carefully laid down next to him for the next four nights trying to comfort this sweet little being. Well he perked up like no one's business and within one week and without even asking he became my most faithful guardian and friend.
We of course had our trials and tribulations but like a fine wine, this little hound just kept getting better with age.
I am still numb at the fact that my most faithful friend is no longer here to greet me at the door, wake me up with "snout-hoggling and kisses", patiently and expectantly waiting for his morning breakfast and wagging his tail feverishly while eating it. I will miss all the little nuances to my furry friend and loyal companion. He was full of life. love and happiness - you could actually see him smile.
Here I am 16 years later with my loving friend, losing a year long battle with melanoma of the lip. Three surgeries, a course of radiation and six melanoma vaccines right back where we started -- sleeping on the floor with him for four nights trying to comfort my best friend, desperately hoping he will perk back up. I searched, hoped, prayed and googled trying to find some other solution than what ultimately took place -- to my complete and utter dismay, there was no solution. I never thought that I could have my dog put to sleep as I selfishly wanted him to be with me forever. To see him suffer was more than I could bear - he didn't deserve cancer or to be in the pain that it was causing him - the pain killers didn't make a dent and he was most bravely suffering. Wednesday I took him to my regular vet and that night he got even worse - on Thursday, July 8th I reluctantly but knowingly took him to the cancer specialists who informed me that the cancer had spread to his brain and there is nothing more we can do and it was time to let him go. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew that was where we were heading. I couldn't let him continue being in pain. They were extraordinarily kind, compassionate and patient. While I waited for my husband to arrive i cradled Woody in my arms and tried to calm him as much as I could. When my husband arrived we sat with him together - i held Woody in my lap and my husband held me -- the doctor came in and gently explained what would happen and asked if we were ready - If we were not my beloved dog was - he was shaking and whimpering uncontrollably. They gave him a dose of medication to put him to sleep and than a medication to stop his heart - it happened within minutes, there he was looking so peaceful laying in my arms. I burst out in tears immediately feeling my loss. My husband was so loving and supportive and he too devastated by our loss. They let us take as much time as we needed with him and we must have cradled him for an hour. Unable to really fathom what life was going to be like without him we hesitantly had to leave his body behind but brought his soul back home with us.
If you had asked me a week ago if I would have ever considered euthanasia, I would have said there is no way I could do that -- for me, when I saw him suffering I had to put his needs ahead of mine. I love him with all of my heart and I miss him ferociously. We are truly lucky to have had such an incredible friend with his funny side winding walk that loved us with all his heart. i know that we got many more months of quality time that we took wonderful advantage of and we were able to be there with him till the end and hold him in our arms to help him to his next destination.
I love you Woody - I miss you incredibly and I thank you for being such and extra-ordinary part of my life!
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